I am "the wicked Step-mother of Doom!"

A while back I had begun a book. I was going to title it 'The Wicked Step-Mother of Doom.' That was the title given to me the first week of my marriage by, at the time, our 7 year old son. He was creative in drawing me. The picture had me sneering with angry eye brows and my arms stretched out as if ready to grab and eat the first person to cross my path. He just knew that is how I would be. He was no dummie, he had watched Cinderella, Snow White and the Parent Trap. He was in for it.

So, I began my book. After writting several chapters, pouring into its pages my whole heart and soul, a cousin of mine asked to critique it for me. I had nothing to hide. I had written some of my greatest fears, immense frustrations and high flying triumphs. The feelings I had written were real. I wanted to reach out to other wicked step-mothers who may be having the same experiences and feeling they were alone in those moments. Those eternal instances where you feel like you are being ganged up on, criticized, or like "maybe I wasn't really doing the right thing by joining this family, was I being selfish?"

After reading only the first chapter my cousin turned to me and told me that my book was nothing new, every mother experiences this. What!? This was all new to me! It would be new to those other step-mothers I was reaching out to touch! Her response devistated me, I let her comment slow down my writting, maybe I wouldn't make the difference I had hoped. Maybe I was the only one who felt like I did. If this was the case then truely 'why waste my time and their money, right?'

Since then I have thought about what she had said. It has rolled in and out of my mind. Actually it was probablly some of the best criticsim I have ever recieved. It has helped me through some of those rough times. If this isn't new to someone who has always been a mother, than it certainly isn't meant to be directed at me personally as a step-mother. Then I began to take that thought even a step further. These kids must look at me somewhat as a mother figure otherwise they wouldn't take the time to treat me as they would their own mother. Hmmm...this had to be taken as a sincere compliment!

So now, when they call me "the wicked step-mother of doom" we all chuckle. But inside I am feeling as if they just gave me the biggest king-size hug they could muster. Honestly, I can still say Being a step mother has its ups and downs, that is no lie, or even exageration. But, when I remember that "this is nothing new" it helps those downs feel much lighter and not quite so deep.