Thursday, October 29, 2009

Potty Training Atempt Three?

Well, we did great with the potty training. Until my trip to visit family, when I returned it was back to ground zero. Aren't there some rules against that? Seriously, I guess I shouldn't have bragged so soon. Maybe I will give it a whole week next time. Sigh.

Other than that we are having cold and wet weather. I enjoy fall. It seems this year the leaves fell before they changed. It is supposed to be a wet one this year says the almanac...(I wonder if they were including my daughter in that? hmm, maybe I should be paying closer attention. Lol)

That is this weeks excitement, sorry there isn't any more. I hope you are all having a marvelous fall!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I came home from a great weekend with family. I thoroughly enjoyed my time out there. My eldest Step-Daughter fit me into her busy schedule and let me hang out with her and her room-mates, they were a blast! I was able to spend time with my sisters and their children. I was able to get a little time in with my parents and some time to myself.

But the greatest part was coming home to my little ones and being able to watch them! Being able to hug my hubby and sleep in my own bed, returning home is always looked forward to.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Lifes Lesson on Assumtions

It seems like we are given some great blessings, and they come unexpectedly. This weekend I am out visiting family and decided to visit my eldest Step-Daughter.

I will admit there are some insecurities I still feel at times with the older children. Foremost I always worry that they might think I am trying to take their mothers place. Also I never want to say something that can be taken as it isn't intended. I admire and respect their mother. She was a friend of mine. Another thing is I never want to assume. I fail at this one more often than not. I find myself doing it so I can justify or explain a behavior for myself. So its a personal thing.

This weekend I have discovered that I tend to be more in the direction of negative when I do make these, my assumptions. This is by no means meant to be a bragging statement, nor justification for my discovery. My assumptions I have made are those of a pessimist. Dang it. I have been wanting to be positive and up beat lately.

So on to the blessings. I was with my step-daughter and her room mates. They, like my girl have lost a parent, they refer to themselves as half-orphans. I was chatting with one of these girls and it was like the windows of heaven were opened for me in an area I have struggled with.

I had assumed that one of my girls is struggling with loyalty issues. This was the explanation I gave myself so I wouldn't take things personal. However, in the instance I am thinking of, this isn't the case at all. Instead, it turns out that my LIG (loyalty-issues-girl)is merely afraid of Murphies law (darn law, I'm not a big fan of Murphy either, his laws stink.) She simply didn't want to share something and then have disappointment to follow. Can I blame her? Nope. So, there was nothing directed towards me as the step-mother-of-doom after all.

You see, this summer she opened up with me on some things, it felt great being included in her friendship circle. Then it seemed like suddenly I was cut off, could no longer be trusted. It had really stunk, I thought I had got my foot in the door per-se and then the door had been slammed.

It is painful to admit, I love thinking that I know more than I really do sometimes. however, I sure love it when I find I am wrong in some of my assumptions, especially like this.

Why is it so natural to worry about one's self, to put up a protective shield when there really is no threat? All this does is make it hard for me to get to know these girls. Or for that matter, for them to get to know me. Seems to be the lesson I get over and over again. I hope to learn it sometime soon and move onto another one of life's lessons.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Potty Training Update...

I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!!! I am afraid to say it out loud, cause I would hate to put a curse on things. However, we have gone 72 hours with only two accidents! Neither of them were major! So for all you mothers out there who have been potty training forever, there is hope, hang in there! And you too will be able to celebrate! Just thought you might be interested.

Signing off, one happy mom.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fall is Here!

Fall is no longer upon us, it is here! It came quickly this year. Usually my husband tries to go a month without turning on the heater. However, yesterday he said its getting cold enough we ought to keep the little ones warm. This morning was the moment I decided to take him up on it.

I love this time of year, when you can lay in your toasty covers and enjoy the warmth, and then feel the cool crispness of the morning . Cool floors and a nip in the air, it a beautiful time of year!

I love dressing my little ones in Jackets and long sleeve shirts, pulling out their pants and little hoodies. Seeing rosy little cheeks and bright little eyes, means only one thing! The Holidays are nearly here! This year we will be celebrating as a whole, our Missionary will be home for the holidays, we can hardly wait! Older Siblings are waiting on the edges of their seats, younger ones with great anticipation. The youngest will find out what a great older brother he has. This Holiday season is going to be the greatest up to date I believe! So bring it on!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Thought of a Wicked Step-Mother

Back when I first married I thought of writing a book. The purpose of my book would be to let other wicked-step-mothers-of-doom know they were not alone and that they could make it.

You see, when I was dating my husband I had many people come up to me and tell me my step children were going to hate me for up to 7-8 years. I had others tell me with our age difference there would be problems. Everyone had advice. As they always do (myself included.)

With in just the first year and a half I had many chapters. Some of the chapters were about conflicts I had with our children, some were about miss understandings between my husband and I. But many more were about triumphs and blessings I had felt as we began to mesh together.

After having writen several chapters, a cousin of mine was out visiting. She showed interest in my book, So I asked her to read and critique my writing.

When she had come to the end of my third chapter, I asked for her opinion. She said "I don't see any difference from your experiences and mine." She then explained that many mothers have the same conflicts, misunderstandings and frustrations along with common blessings and triumphs. Boy, that was a reality check for the time, I had almost felt like I had been slapped in the face...seriously. Had I had wasted my time?

Over time her telling me this has brought me much comfort. It has helped me take things less personal (though I still have to remind my self this with even my own children.) It has helped me think that it is very possible that their mother would have felt the same feelings I have if she were here. I then wonder how she would deal with it. Don't get me wrong, we are two very different people, but we do have these children in common, and their best interest at heart.

My book has been put to the side, but I hope that this blog can help other step-Mothers who have their step-children's best interest at heart know they are not alone. It is very possible that many of the children's mothers have gone through the very paces these clever children try to put you through.

Everyone's situation is a bit different. Some are more difficult for whatever reason. However, I solemnly believe if you and your husband act as a team, supporting one another's decisions on raising and up bringing, and include Heavenly Father who knows these children better than either you or your spouse, you will see more silver linings than not. These children you have been given steward ship over will recognize you have their best interest at heart. It is like those many scriptures that ask us to endure to the end. Blessings will be dispersed along the way, along with many tender mercies. With clouds and rain come rainbows and sunshine.