Lifes Lesson on Assumtions

It seems like we are given some great blessings, and they come unexpectedly. This weekend I am out visiting family and decided to visit my eldest Step-Daughter.

I will admit there are some insecurities I still feel at times with the older children. Foremost I always worry that they might think I am trying to take their mothers place. Also I never want to say something that can be taken as it isn't intended. I admire and respect their mother. She was a friend of mine. Another thing is I never want to assume. I fail at this one more often than not. I find myself doing it so I can justify or explain a behavior for myself. So its a personal thing.

This weekend I have discovered that I tend to be more in the direction of negative when I do make these, my assumptions. This is by no means meant to be a bragging statement, nor justification for my discovery. My assumptions I have made are those of a pessimist. Dang it. I have been wanting to be positive and up beat lately.

So on to the blessings. I was with my step-daughter and her room mates. They, like my girl have lost a parent, they refer to themselves as half-orphans. I was chatting with one of these girls and it was like the windows of heaven were opened for me in an area I have struggled with.

I had assumed that one of my girls is struggling with loyalty issues. This was the explanation I gave myself so I wouldn't take things personal. However, in the instance I am thinking of, this isn't the case at all. Instead, it turns out that my LIG (loyalty-issues-girl)is merely afraid of Murphies law (darn law, I'm not a big fan of Murphy either, his laws stink.) She simply didn't want to share something and then have disappointment to follow. Can I blame her? Nope. So, there was nothing directed towards me as the step-mother-of-doom after all.

You see, this summer she opened up with me on some things, it felt great being included in her friendship circle. Then it seemed like suddenly I was cut off, could no longer be trusted. It had really stunk, I thought I had got my foot in the door per-se and then the door had been slammed.

It is painful to admit, I love thinking that I know more than I really do sometimes. however, I sure love it when I find I am wrong in some of my assumptions, especially like this.

Why is it so natural to worry about one's self, to put up a protective shield when there really is no threat? All this does is make it hard for me to get to know these girls. Or for that matter, for them to get to know me. Seems to be the lesson I get over and over again. I hope to learn it sometime soon and move onto another one of life's lessons.