Sunday, December 28, 2008

Holidaze II

Well, another Christmas is winding down! It was a fun one! everyone seemed excited about their new treasure troves.

This is the first year my two year old actually grasped the whole thing. She picked out the greatest gifts ever for her sibblings and dad. Later Dad took her out to buy my gift. She was so excited to tell me she got me a cupcake book! Everyone kept trying to tell her she could surprise me if she waited. She informed them however this:"I am going to teuw my momma dat I dot her a cup cake book!" she was determined she had the right to tell me what ever she wished.

She was so excited about each of her gifts she recieved as well! I enjoy watching each of the kids be so excited about what they get each other and recieve. Honestly they get excited over the home-made stars, the animals, and the nicer things. It is fun.

My husband asked me what we were going to do once they all get married and have families of their own. It is weird to think that far down the road. We have from age 7mos. to 27 yrs. We are hoping to add one more to our clan before calling it quits so it will be at least 21-22 years before that is a concern. What will we do then? when we no longer have little ones at home to enjoy it with? A question I am glad I have several years to answer. Even if it does come sooner than I would like.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Perspective

I was at church today and given a new insight. It might be a bit too quirky for some of you out here, but here it is:

During Sacrament our two year old took her bread and devoured it! After which she replied : "Momma, dis bwead is delicious!"

I thought it was cute, but really when you think about it, when we partake of the atonement as it is intended, it can be quite delicious...even satisfying.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

So, I have hit one of those stones in the road and I'm having a hard time picking myself up and getting over it. I know it can be a stepping stone but I feel like I keep tripping over it and I am tired of trying to get over it.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

So if you notice my quote by C.S. Lewis off to the side here, it has been my favorite since I was in college and first heard it. It really is an amazing one. However it just became clear to me, when I chose to marry my husband, I gave full demolition power to the Savior. I really don't like that all too much. My cottage was cozy and warm.

I'm not liking this whole mortality thing all too much. It is painful I'm sure many can agree. It is painful when I think I am the victim. But it is excruciatingly more so when I discover I have victimized those who were honestly trying to do their best, had a human moment, and I take that as the inner-most part of their heart. When in reality it is indubitably one of those things, that I would hope could be over looked in my own actions as just what it was, a human moment.

Sorry.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Life's Little Lessons on venting

My lessons seem to be taught in a painful manner at times. I've been told that pain can mean growth, however I wouldn't mind entirely going around the growing pains. I could do without them. But here is the latest little lesson.

Venting I hear is good. I do it often enough that I hope no one takes this personal, like I said this is a lesson I am learning. I am finding however that venting can have some awfully painful comebacks. There are two of these returns that I would like to talk about.

Let me set this up with person A, person B, and person C. A, being the venter, B being the listener, and C being the offender. This will simplify what I am trying to express.

First. When person A vents to person B, involved or not, no matter how unbiased they say they can be, person A's words will affect the way "B" will view person C. Whether "B" the listener knows of "C", person A is paining a picture. So even if person B never meets the person C, person "A" has developed a picture for "B". It is only natural then to make judgments off that painting later.

Second. After person "A" is done venting person B may at times think they are doing a favor for both "A" and "C" if they intervene and explain for "A" to "C" what has been vented about. This can be a problem because since the "A" was just venting at the time, they may be way over it later. Then "C" finds out that they have made an offense that possibly they had absolutely no intentions of making, nor clue that it would have been taken as such.

With "B"'s good intentions only comes more hurt feelings. Feelings that "C" needed not to experience, and possibly "A" had not intended to be forwarded so to say. Also, Person "A" may have wanted to confront it them selves, and felt that venting would possibly help them to put it into perspective. Or that "B" may have some suggestions themselves on how to take what was taken.

See there are so many variables to this and I am still learning them. Life's lessons hurt at times. It stinks. But like I have been told, Pain means growth right? I have played all three of these roles as have each of us, its a cycle and it still stinks.

Monday, December 8, 2008

A tribute to Two

There are many amazing people that have entered and left my life. Leaving prints along the way. Two of these most amazing are men who have stepped out this past week.

Joseph B. Worthlin was an extraordinary man. He was an Apostle and cared for and loved all of those he served. He had a great since of humor which was quite obvious in his last talk given in Octobers conference. Elder Worthlin had a perspective of life that I and many others grew to respect over the years and to which I am very grateful. He is, in my book, one of the great ones!

The other man is known on a smaller scale, yet the people who knew him will agree to what a great man he was. Bro Harnegle passed away also, his time has come where he too is no longer held back by his physical frame. He taught my temple prep class before my mission and had a testimony that was profoundly touching. His way was gentle, and humble. Even when he felt like he had given his all, he showed immense faith and continued forward always positive. He shared with me one day that his favorite song is I Need Thee Every Hour.

I have learned so much from these men. The feeling of absence is felt. A bit of sorrow also. Not for their leaving this frail life, rather for those who had not had the chance to feel of their great spirits. Nor taste of the great teachings they shared, both by speech and example. What a strength they have been to many. I am grateful I had the privilege of walking with them through this life. What a blessing.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Innocence

I was reminded of why we are commanded to become as little children through a conversation of my 10 year old and 2 year old. Their conversation went something like this:

What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas this year?

I want pink pwesents!

But what kind of presents do you want?

I want dem aul to be pink!

Okay, but once you open them what do you want?

I no care. I dust want pink pwesents!

My son finally gave up. But the lesson was simple. she didn't really care what she got, as long as it was wrapped in pink paper. Honestly she would be happy with anything we give her. She won't be disappointed for what ever reason, she will be happy that she has a new toy, it will be something new to experience and enjoy. She is unaware of all that is available to her.

How often have I thought about the simple fact that Heavenly Father knows me best. He has many great gifts picked out for me. He wants to give them to me. At times I don't open them, possibly because I think I know what it is and know I won't like it. Or maybe all I see is the paper and am content with that. What if I don't even acknowledge it? Or how about this, Some of those gifts are only available upon my asking for them. Just as children give a list for Santa. I don't think I need to make a list forever long, but too, I don't think it hurts to ask for things either. Like leaving a glass of milk and those delicious chocolate chip cookies, I too can thank our Heavenly Father.

I could ask for a simple thing like the color of paper for my gift to come in and be pleasantly surprised by the gift that has been thoughtfully picked out for and given to me. Without a second thought.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Christmas

Well, its beginning to get crazy! The count down has begun! The hustle and bustle is no longer looming, it is here! I love the music, and I love the food, I even love the socializing of everything. I love the smells if Christmas! Peppermint, hot cider, baking of sorts, fires, ginger bread, Pine, all are reminders of this holiday! People are more friendly, you get hello's from strangers, cards from old friends. Lights are everywhere! I love the sounds of jingle bells, and children's laughter! I love the anticipation of Christmas morning and watching the children's excitement and they pick out gifts they know the others are going to love! These are but a few of the things I enjoy about this holiday. That and the spirit of it all!