Thursday, July 30, 2009
some rambl'ns in the noggin
Well, still working on potty training. Got the bunk-beds up for the two little gypsies, they love 'em. My little man can now get himself out of bed and doesn't have to wait for someone to rescue him! Haven't worked much on my scrapbooking. Would like to be feeling like myself again, that would be nice. Need to remember to get my eleven year old to pictures, and signed up for everything. Want him to feel comfortable in middle school. I will have a Sr. at home this year! Yikes! watch out world! We will be picking up our missionary this winter and I am stoked, back to my stomping grounds! The older girls are having things fall into place for them, I am happy for them both! Oh, the days! The garden has been plentiful this year, I've just about had too much corn on the cob, but not quite. am enjoying the squash and zucchini, who would have guessed there were so many great ways to eat it! Brownies, cassarole, lasagna, bread, stir fry, with pasta, and the list is growing. My house is the cleanest it has been since I moved in. I need to get my sewing machine fixed so I can finish a project. I am cutting back on facebook, need to find more productive things to do with my time. Have enjoyed roasting marshmellows with family and friends this month. One of the joys of a fire pit. So many things to look forward to, it is great! Life is good for the most part.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Potty Training Atempt two
Well, we are back to potty training, pretty exciting stuff I tell you. This time we are doing a bit better. My little princess has stayed dry 3 nights in a row. Its the day time that is getting me! I'm not sure if she just gets too involved with things and forgets, doesn't feel it, of if she is just lazy. I am trying a reward system. The problem is sometimes she simply does not care. There you go, this weeks endeavor. Wish me luck and plenty of patience.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Dreams do Come True
My daughter was talking with me and her grandfather tonight. She told her grandpa that she was going to be a mommy someday, just like me. Oh, what a warm fuzzy, my heart just about melted right there at that very moment.
Then I thought for a moment and decided this might be a perfect teaching moment, so, I added: "You are going to be a good mommy, you just have to wait until you find a good man and get married first." I realize she is three and this may be going a bit (if not a lot) over board, oh well.
She quickly replied "I am going to have a good man, because daddy is going to be my husband."
She really does have a good daddy. She and both of her sisters have realized this. I am one lucky mommy, a very blessed wife! And there are some young men out there who have some hefty shoes to fill.
Then I thought for a moment and decided this might be a perfect teaching moment, so, I added: "You are going to be a good mommy, you just have to wait until you find a good man and get married first." I realize she is three and this may be going a bit (if not a lot) over board, oh well.
She quickly replied "I am going to have a good man, because daddy is going to be my husband."
She really does have a good daddy. She and both of her sisters have realized this. I am one lucky mommy, a very blessed wife! And there are some young men out there who have some hefty shoes to fill.
Thoughts of a Wicked Step Mother
At times I feel like the odds are overwhelmingly against me. This whole stepmother thing really stinks at times. First of all Disney paints us all to be selfish hags. Then there are the step parents who live up to that portrayal and then some. Finally, there is the picture the children paint for themselves.
The last of these is the hardest to disprove, because your motives aren't possibly and simply because you care for that child. Some how they have this warped concept it is only to make yourself look good in the public eye.
I don't believe I am the only step parent who feels this way. Deep down, I think there are many step parents out there who care for the children that have been placed in their care just as their own. Five of these children have been placed in my stewardship. All different ages, thank goodness, and each with different needs.
When I married my husband I knew it would be an adjustment. Not just for myself but for the children. However, what I find to be interesting is that the one child I thought would be easier for me isn't. With this one child I had some history and thought it might be to my favor if I dare. maybe that is why it hurts more when this child does little jabs here and there. It is done subtly and possible with out intention.
I realize these children hurt. They have lost their mother, their friend and confidante. Nobody can take her place. Nobody can erase her either. She has left a piece of herself with each of her children, whether through looks, attitude, testimony, love for history, or love for animals. I see and recognize her hand in their up bringing.
For the record, I am not trying to erase her or take her place. I am not trying to take credit for the raising she has done. Any one who knows of our situation knows this. Any one who knows the older children would also know there is no way I could be their mother seeing how there is only a seven year difference between the eldest and myself.
I guess the reason I am writing this is that if I put it out there people can know they aren't alone. On either side of the situation. The problem with this is it is one sided, you don't have the perspective of the children and young adults involved and neither do I. With that lack of information I am sure there have been many times I have stepped on toes. For this reason that is why I have felt like my toes have been stepped on as well.
One thing I find intriguing is, everyone warns you when you marry that your spouse will be from a different upbringing, you both will have to meet in the middle. What I never realized is that when you marry into a premade family, you aren't just getting one different upbringing but as many as there are individuals. Everyone has a different understanding, a different way of dealing with things, even when they are raised by the same two individuals. Some of these differences come from age and experience, some from perspective and personal value. What ever it is, the same situation when presented can be understood so differently.
I should have noticed this before in my own up bringing. Each of my siblings and I have such different perspectives on how we were raised and things we experienced together, there are things I remember that my siblings don't and vice versa. we perceived things so differently it amazes me at times. But any way, continuing with the original purpose of this entry...
Life isn't all about me, I am finding that out more and more each day. With that being the case, can I put it out there that even though it isn't all about me, I do have feelings. Sometimes I react to those feelings rather than act on them as I should. But I do have feelings all the same. I do my best to remember that these children have feelings as well.
Sometimes I wish I could just put my feelings aside. I think it might make life easier. But then people would think I was insensitive. Sometimes I feel like it is lose, lose. Then I remember there is someone who experienced it all with me. That brings me comfort. Thank you for your time and have a good night.
The last of these is the hardest to disprove, because your motives aren't possibly and simply because you care for that child. Some how they have this warped concept it is only to make yourself look good in the public eye.
I don't believe I am the only step parent who feels this way. Deep down, I think there are many step parents out there who care for the children that have been placed in their care just as their own. Five of these children have been placed in my stewardship. All different ages, thank goodness, and each with different needs.
When I married my husband I knew it would be an adjustment. Not just for myself but for the children. However, what I find to be interesting is that the one child I thought would be easier for me isn't. With this one child I had some history and thought it might be to my favor if I dare. maybe that is why it hurts more when this child does little jabs here and there. It is done subtly and possible with out intention.
I realize these children hurt. They have lost their mother, their friend and confidante. Nobody can take her place. Nobody can erase her either. She has left a piece of herself with each of her children, whether through looks, attitude, testimony, love for history, or love for animals. I see and recognize her hand in their up bringing.
For the record, I am not trying to erase her or take her place. I am not trying to take credit for the raising she has done. Any one who knows of our situation knows this. Any one who knows the older children would also know there is no way I could be their mother seeing how there is only a seven year difference between the eldest and myself.
I guess the reason I am writing this is that if I put it out there people can know they aren't alone. On either side of the situation. The problem with this is it is one sided, you don't have the perspective of the children and young adults involved and neither do I. With that lack of information I am sure there have been many times I have stepped on toes. For this reason that is why I have felt like my toes have been stepped on as well.
One thing I find intriguing is, everyone warns you when you marry that your spouse will be from a different upbringing, you both will have to meet in the middle. What I never realized is that when you marry into a premade family, you aren't just getting one different upbringing but as many as there are individuals. Everyone has a different understanding, a different way of dealing with things, even when they are raised by the same two individuals. Some of these differences come from age and experience, some from perspective and personal value. What ever it is, the same situation when presented can be understood so differently.
I should have noticed this before in my own up bringing. Each of my siblings and I have such different perspectives on how we were raised and things we experienced together, there are things I remember that my siblings don't and vice versa. we perceived things so differently it amazes me at times. But any way, continuing with the original purpose of this entry...
Life isn't all about me, I am finding that out more and more each day. With that being the case, can I put it out there that even though it isn't all about me, I do have feelings. Sometimes I react to those feelings rather than act on them as I should. But I do have feelings all the same. I do my best to remember that these children have feelings as well.
Sometimes I wish I could just put my feelings aside. I think it might make life easier. But then people would think I was insensitive. Sometimes I feel like it is lose, lose. Then I remember there is someone who experienced it all with me. That brings me comfort. Thank you for your time and have a good night.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Moment of Truth
I am going to put myself in the raw on here today. Mainly this is for me. I just need to put it out there and in writing.
In the past two and a half years I have put on 30 pounds. Everyone tells me I carry it well and am looking good after having two children. That is nice. However, this year my 17 year old was taking some pics of my birthday and as I looked through them I thought "ugh...well, a camera does add 10 pounds, I'm alright."
Today I was getting my oil changed. As I waited I was reading a magazine, I happened to glace up and noticed the woman across from me. My first thought was, "that woman sure could use a diet, she looks more than frumpy." Then I had the nerve to take a second glance. 'That woman' happened to be me in a mirror.
Now at an oil stop they are not trying to sale diet things, exercise things, etc. So they wouldn't have put up a mirror used in a fun house at the fair. Dang. *sigh* So there was my reality check for today.
On the up side of all of this I have a plan. It took me at least two years to put this weight on so it isn't going to come off in a week or two, so I'm going to have to be patient. But here is what I am planning for my self:
1. I am going to keep a daily journal of my intake.
2. I am going to cut back on portions, and snacks.
3. I am going to make opportunities for myself to exercise, no more excuses.
4. I am going to take control.
I was talking to a friend of mine who teaches healthy living classes. Here are a few things he shared with me. Ignore the low fat, fat-free labels. While they can be of help, you just need to pay attention to the calorie intake. So what should be the average intake for a woman? He said about 1700 calories a day. Minimal 1200.
It has always been a fear of mine to be a calorie counter, I never wanted to look like I had an eating disorder. In the past I did have one, and was blessed it didn't get out of control for too long. Today I have decided there is not a problem with counting calories. I am going to do this. I hope I can report to you in less than 2 years that I have reached my goal.
There are two reasons I am saying two years. First it took me that long to get here, and second, I am planning on having one more child sometime next year. *sigh* Wish me luck, I am beginning right now.
In the past two and a half years I have put on 30 pounds. Everyone tells me I carry it well and am looking good after having two children. That is nice. However, this year my 17 year old was taking some pics of my birthday and as I looked through them I thought "ugh...well, a camera does add 10 pounds, I'm alright."
Today I was getting my oil changed. As I waited I was reading a magazine, I happened to glace up and noticed the woman across from me. My first thought was, "that woman sure could use a diet, she looks more than frumpy." Then I had the nerve to take a second glance. 'That woman' happened to be me in a mirror.
Now at an oil stop they are not trying to sale diet things, exercise things, etc. So they wouldn't have put up a mirror used in a fun house at the fair. Dang. *sigh* So there was my reality check for today.
On the up side of all of this I have a plan. It took me at least two years to put this weight on so it isn't going to come off in a week or two, so I'm going to have to be patient. But here is what I am planning for my self:
1. I am going to keep a daily journal of my intake.
2. I am going to cut back on portions, and snacks.
3. I am going to make opportunities for myself to exercise, no more excuses.
4. I am going to take control.
I was talking to a friend of mine who teaches healthy living classes. Here are a few things he shared with me. Ignore the low fat, fat-free labels. While they can be of help, you just need to pay attention to the calorie intake. So what should be the average intake for a woman? He said about 1700 calories a day. Minimal 1200.
It has always been a fear of mine to be a calorie counter, I never wanted to look like I had an eating disorder. In the past I did have one, and was blessed it didn't get out of control for too long. Today I have decided there is not a problem with counting calories. I am going to do this. I hope I can report to you in less than 2 years that I have reached my goal.
There are two reasons I am saying two years. First it took me that long to get here, and second, I am planning on having one more child sometime next year. *sigh* Wish me luck, I am beginning right now.
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