Life's little Lessons

Here is a lesson I am being taught time and time again. The lesson is the importance of open communication.

Open communication does not just consist of being able to express one's self. No, it also means we need to...no, we have to be willing to listen. And then there is the part that becomes tricky, that is to be respectful. This one isn't only tricky because often times we feel like we are the one's in the right, but because it needs to go both ways. Thus both parties, or all parties need to posses this characteristic before this process can be accomplished.

I must preface this with the fact that I have married a man who has been blessed to be raised in a home where this was practiced in the day-to-day. Also that he has had to show quite a bit of patience in my direction.

When we first married it wasn't just the two of us. We have five children who were already in existence. They have already developed their opinions about many things. Too, they had developed a pattern in their daily living. I came along and felt like there were a lot of things that needed changing. Like many have learned, "it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks."

The first year of our marriage was the most difficult for everyone I believe, but I can only speak for myself. One of the greatest controversies was disciplining the children. As is in many relationships I believe, both parents are raised with different expectations and learning. In many cases the parents are able to discuss discipline before the children come along. However I have heard and seen that even with that prep time there are instances where one feels like he/she is compromising more than the other even after these discussions in the area of raising children.

So, back to me needing to change everything. I went about it wrong. Not because I had the intent of destroying children's lives but because a method had already been developed. Instead of gaining the respect I wanted, I was pushing the children away. My husband told me the goal should be to decide what was of most serious importance. Don't attack everything at once. Pick one thing and work on that for a bit. You want to keep ties open with the children so that as they get older they will be willing to, if not want, to talk to you about things that may be even more important in the future.

Through this there have been times I have been selfish and said things to jab at individuals. I have expressed things to my husband that were momentary feelings. Not necessarily nice. He has to been patient with me. By way of his patience I have learned how important it is to be patient myself and to often times put my pride aside. I have to admit I am wrong at times and other times let others figure out they are wrong. It isn't easy, and I have much to work on myself. I just thought I would put this out there.

P.S. Another thing I have learned is if I ignore people, not talk to them etc. I have a tendency to make things bigger than they really are in my mind. Then when I think I am over it and it comes up again, well, the bigness often times looks even bigger. Even though it hurts to talk because you feel like you are being ignored, or going to be hurt, many times I have found it is much less painful to just put it out there on the table for everyone to know.

Kids say the Darndest

After getting a flu shot and witnessing her little brother get three shots and begin to cry, my two year old turned to the nurse with tears in her eyes and said: "My broder no yike you! and I no yike you eader!" I wish I had the guts to put shot givers and blood takers in their places like that.

Things I am Thankful for...

I have so much to be thankful for, where do I begin?

1. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me for me.
2. A husband who loves me for me.
3. Seven wonderful children who love each other and the gospel.
4. I have a Savior who made a personal atonement on my behalf.
5. I serve with some amazing women in my ward!
6. I serve some amazing children in my ward!
7. Two parents who have taught me and loved me and continue to set examples for me.
8. Siblings that are the best!
9. I have the fullness of the Gospel in my life
10. Leaders who have my happiness at heart. Both Local and General.
11. I live close to and have easy access to chocolate. (or what ever I may be needing at the moment)
12. I have great friends!
13. I have been born knowing who I am and where I would like to go.
14. Life's experiences both pleasant and not.
15. Flowers, I love flowers, especially daisies they are my favorite.
16. Warm sunny days! Blue skies, and fluffy white clouds!
17. Apple crisp, or peach cobbler
18. The Twilight series
19. Happy babies in the morning with their beautiful smiles and delicious giggles!
20. Temples...everywhere.
21. So many modern conveniences, that alone could be a whole other list.
22. Rainy days...if not to remind me how much I appreciate the sun, but also the peaceful lulling sound of it falling.
23. Snow. It is so pure.
24. The innocence of little children.
25. Freedom!
26. Letters.
27.

Life's Little Lessons

Me being here to post this blog is proof I have yet some lessons to learn in life. The lesson that is being pressed on me repeatedly is Humility. There are many ways this lesson has presented its self. Through family. Through callings. Through friends and acquaintances.

Continually I am being reminded of weaknesses I possess. There are people out there who feel it their personal calling to point these out to me. They seem to feel that they now my heart better than My own Father in Heaven. Thus it is their personal duty to make me into their view of perfection. Then there are those who are worried enough about themselves, that they look past my flaws and weaknesses with the realization that I am a mere mortal and am still being molded as God intends for me to be.

I appreciate the latter group of people. They tend to be the instruments I tend to gravitate to and admire. Those who tear me down to remodel are unwelcome guests in my life. Though they tend to press in more forcefully than my welcome group.

Why don't people respect the agency of others? How is it that they can be so hypocritical yet expect perfection from someone as weak as themselves? No one on this earth is perfect, only Christ was. So why is it that others feel it their need to make judgments and accusations that they know nothing about. I mean really, do they know my heart as well as Father in Heaven?

Why don't the books tell you how it really is?

I am at that point in life where I am trying to learn balance. As a stay at home mother I am able to protect my children from quite a bit. However, trying to fit in rec time for them and myself is where I am finding it difficult to balance.

When we stay home I am only able to get everything done I need to with the assistance of the telly as my baby-setter and missing baths or not doing hair. Everyone tells me this is just a season and it will pass. Then there is the part where I feel like my children need time for socializing, let alone myself.

My socializing seems to consist of church meetings mainly. This isn't a complaint. However I have been attempting to expand my social realm. The effect of this expansion is that my children have difficulties adjusting. With that I myself am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I have dear friends who have told me if I need a change of scenery I am welcome to use them for that purpose. But when do I fit them in too?

So here is my thing. I am trying to fit in Story-time at the Library. Also I have joined a gym for free because I help with others children once a week, thus my children get to interact with other children and have other toys than their own. I have my presidency meeting I look forward to on Fridays, again interaction with other children. Plus I would like to fit in Enrichment for stay at home mom's, the kids play and we visit. All sounds good right?

I want to do all of these things, yet when I get only half of them done, that is all I get done because I am too tired to do anything else, or my children are. I was so excited about the gym thing but am only able to take advantage of it once a week. Not really doing me any good then. Then there is the Enrichment thing, My children have been napping during it the past two weeks. By time they are awake it is time for me to pick up my youngster from school.

When they said there is no rest for the wicked, I really had no idea that I was considered that wicked. Part of this stems from me reading an amazing book series. however when I was young I seem to see me doing many more things at one time and not feeling quite as overwhelmed as I have lately.

Part of this is scheduling things which is another thing I am finding difficult. With older children at home the younger ones don't want to go to bed and miss things. But the following morning we all have a hard time getting ourselves started. When it was just my 2 yr old and I, I was able to bathe her every other day, do her hair everyday and keep up on laundry, dishes and other things, namely projects. How did I do it all? Oh how I admire all of those mothers who have survived this season of their lives! I hope down the road I can be one of those as well. That I have done it with a bit of grace and still have my dignity (or shall I say sanity.)

The holidaze

Well, it's coming, ready or not! And it is coming quickly! Hold on to those hats! It is count down time for every child! Adults are also counting down the time though I think for intirely different reasons...okay some of them may be the same.

Yesterday I took my younger middle son to do some of his Christmas shopping! I love this time of year! I love to see my children's excitement! Not only do you see it in their eyes, but you hear it in their voices, and their sleep, it is almost crazy! Totally fun in the same note! They are fun to watch as they choose the perfect gift for each individual!

So, back to taking my son Christmas shopping. He had all of these great ideas for his siblings...the only problem is mullah! We started racking our brains for some ideas. He came up with some pretty great and creative ones, everyone will love them! When we returned home he was so excited, he wanted to wrap everything so no one would have a chance to peek at his brilliant finds!

After wrapping everything he went down to play with his older brother. I was taking care of the baby and thought nothing more of anything.

The next thing I know my two year old comes to me with all of the excitement she could muster! She was beaming and bubbling over with joy! I was beginning to feel just as excited! She pulled out from behind her all of her brothers gifts (unwrapped) and says "Yook what Yogan dave me! all of dees auo my pwessents!"

I have to say when big brother found out he was quick to take them back and to his room for safe keeping.

Oh how I love the Holidays! I can hardly wait to see what is next!

I apologize for any one I may have offended with my last entry. I will just keep in my prayers that Obama isn't as far left as he appears, or that his own party wont allow him to lean that far.

thoughts...

I know we can survive this election. We have survived so many in the past. It still grieves me to know that a majority of Americans appear to allow them selves to be deceived so easily. I honestly thought people took the time to actually understand and know the lies they were being told. I mark today as a day of mourning. It is like 9-11 only we won't be seeing the effects until the next presidential nominee...will we give them the power to change that also "for our greater good?" Why do so many people think that it is easier for the government to control them? Are we becoming a lazy people who would rather be lead than to lead? Who is Obama that we had 'to prove to him that we were ready for change?' If socialism hasn't worked for other countries, then why do we think we are different? It will prove misery in the years to come. We are not free when we allow others to lead us with a leash, no matter how much slack we think they have left in our cord.

The First Taste of Halloween

You forget the delights of common things until you become a parent and are reminded of these simple treasures through the eyes (or faces in this case) of our little ones.

Tonight my husband and I returned from an evening of together time. We heard the children awake in the basement so went to see how they weathered in our absence. Once we had established the baby was alive and the two older boys were in one piece (each in one piece), my inquiries went to where my youngest little girl may be.

It seemed a mystery, she had disappeared. I ran and began looking in usual hiding places in route to her bedroom. There I found her curled up, fast asleep on her floor with a candy bar in her hand melted and smeared up her cheek where her hand had come to rest. She had chocolate around her mouth, like that may have been her much enjoyed dinner as well. Oh the memories of childhood.