While listening to others testimonies today I was impressed by the thought that Heavenly Father really, truly does love us! He is so aware of us as individuals in fact, it amazes me at times. I have at times thought maybe he had forgot about me, or somehow I had been placed on the back burner. Honestly I thought that if He was aware of me I wouldn't be feeling the pain I am at a particular moment.
There are so many stories in the scriptures of people, everyday people like myself, trying to rely on themselves and finding they could only get further up the path if they trusted in the Savior. Take for example the woman that had the issue of blood. She suffered for many years. Finally one day she heard of a Man who performed miracles. She went right way up to Him and merely touched His robe.
Imagine how she may have felt the moment He stopped and asked who had touched Him. If it was me I may have wanted to withdraw into the crowd. Instead she stood forth and admitted it was she. In doing so she was able to receive the confirmation through Him of her worthiness of the gift. She was healed.
There is also the story of Peter, and the other apostles on the boat. They see Christ walking towards them on the water. Peter was the only one with faith enough to attempt walking out to meet the Savior. When he did I am sure the first steps were taken with confidence. Then I imagine he may have thought to himself "hey, I'm not the Savior, what am I thinking" and with that he began to sink. Instead of sinking to his death however he turned to the Savior and reached for his hand. Christ took his hand and together they joined the other apostles.
When Peter turned to the Savior I think he was speaking to me through his actions. He knew Christ wouldn't let him down. He had the privilege of knowing Christ in person. He knew that the savior would save him.
There are so many times I think I have to do things on my own. Don't get me wrong, I believe there are some things we do have to do on our own. Take the first step for one, or reaching for His garment. After we show our faith by taking that first step though, He is not far from us ready to catch us if we stumble or fall. He has his hand outstretched.
There are times I imagine there is no possible way he can help me, maybe I have gone too far, said too many things. Or maybe I feel I have let the natural man totally take over. it is in those times I am reminded of a favorite scripture. D&C 6:36. In this scripture the Savior is talking to Oliver Cowdry, but also to me. He said "Look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not."
If I look unto Christ even when I feel like he has forgotten me I realize He hasn't. Usually when it hurts it is an opportunity for me to grow. With growth there seems to come pain, but if I remind myself that He truly and honestly has my best at heart. Sometimes that makes it easier for me to ask for help to get up, brush myself off and continue along the path He has marked for me. I find that many stones I think of as stumbling stones can actually with His help be turned to stepping stones.
Many times I look back, and don't even remember the pain I experienced in the moment of growth. A dear friend once told me during a struggle "Life is like a bed of roses, Before you entered it all you saw were the beautiful roses. As you go through life you are going to find there are thorns in that garden, they will tear at your flesh, your cloths, hair, what ever they can. In the end though, you will look back and only see the flowers, but with a knowledge that to enjoy their beauty you had to experience a few thorns."
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