Motherhood

I have had all of these thoughts go through my head at one time or another. I love being a mother! I love watching my children grow like weeds and experiencing each new day.

However, I have moments when I think It would be nice to work out side of the home. There are so many "benefits". I think I could have extra money. People would recognize my accomplishments. My productivity would be higher. Talking to adults would be something that took a majority of my time, jibberish would be part time. Some one else could do the potty training, I would just do follow up. My house would be cleaner, cause no one would be there to mess it up.

Then after letting these thoughts roll around on the brain I realize there would be many things I would miss, they would pass me by. For example I might miss my children's firsts. Someone else would be there to wipe tears when they fall down and skin their knee. I would miss their coming home from school and telling me about their day, the good or bad. They would be raised with someone else's expectations, values, principles, maybe even morals. They might turn to someone else when they are hurt. I would miss out on many of the little things they say in innocence. I would miss hearing them play with each other, laughing at each other, even if it is out of mischievousness. There is so many things I would miss. Numbering them would be impossible.

I have come to the conclusion in all of this thinking, that I am lucky to be home with my little ones. There are many out there who would love the chance and for one reason or other aren't able.

Don't get me wrong, many times a day I catch myself praying for patience, confort, creativity, patience again, words, a sense of humor, patience, knowledge, understanding, a blind eye, patience....I think you get the idea. I pray for these and many other blessings in my day to day. That is how I do it. I am not always perfect, in fact often I fall quite short. But, I do find comfort in the tought that there are others experiencing this season of life the same as I.

These are just a few of my thoughs as of late. Did I mention that I have to pray for patience?

Mom 101

Not seriously, but let me tell you. having two little ones with minds of their own and them all to myself with daddy away...*sigh*, I can hardly wait for his return!

Honestly the feelings today were something to experience: "What, another plate of food on the floor?!" "It's no wonder you are hungry, you your food is all on the floor rather than in your stomach." "Why are you pouring milk on the floor like that? cows don't grow out of the floor boards." "No, spaghetti sauce is not the new rave in the lotion department, why is it all over your arms and legs like that?" "Princesses do not flick their food all over the kitchen like that!" "You know, you were in front of the toilet...why is there a puddle under you? You can't pee like your brothers." "The trash stays in the trash can, we don't need this kind of remodeling done." "You didn't need help making the mess...." *sigh* oh, I could go on. I feel like I have got nothing accomplished to day. Only ranting and raving.

It is a blessing to watch children grow and learn. I am learning this over and over again. I have seen the children in my stewardship sprout almost like weeds! I have a priviledge that many parent don't have. I have began with children, teens and young adults.

The eldest is discovering again and again who she is. Each time she shines a little more. She welcomes everyone and makes any one and everone comfortable. She would do anything for any of her friends or family. She loves to help others. She is sensitive to others and the spirit. Often times she wears herself on her sleeve. I admire this, because it can be hard to do. She confronts things, she doesnt let them get in the way or cause problems.

My red headed step child is very good with caring for those most would give up on. She does it every day in her day to day work. She puts on a hard outer shell, but I think she has to so she wont be eaten alive, for any of you who know her, she is a softy inside.

Both girls have high standards and are good examples to their younger siblings.

Our 21 year old is brilliant. Any who know him can't deni it. He is setting a comendable example for his younger siblings as well. He has never been afraid to stand up for what he believes. Nor ashamed. He has a good attitude and is a hard worker He takes what ever he does seriously and knows how to make it fun at the same time. He doesn't let others push him around.

My 17 year old, once awkward and a bit gangly has become quit a handsome young man. He takes the gospel seriously and lives life the best he can. He has an intelect beyond his years. Sometimes he blows me away with aconcept he shares. He continually amazes me. I couldn't trade him for any other teenager. I watch some and am reminded of how lucky I really am.

Our 11 year old is becoming quite the young man too! This past year he over came a fear of change and realized it can actually be quite fun. He has over come most of his fears regaurding water. He is diving and swimming like he never thought possible for himself. He has a tender spirit, he cares about those around him. He is a loyal friend to those who need a great friend and is sensitive to his younger siblings.

My 3 year old over came her fear of water today. Instead of clinging to me for dear life, she trusted me and tried to do some things on her own. I was looking at pictures today and it seems like just a month or two ago we were bringing her home.

My 1 year old is becoming more confident each day in his walking. Before I know it he will be chasing around with his older siblings, getting into mischief and tending to his curiosity, I will be in trouble then.

It ceases to amaze me at how time flies. I am sure I have said this before. In my barber chair I used to have older gentlemen always tell me that is was only going to pass more quickly. I hope with all hope that I will make the most of that time. My children are going to be small only once. They will be teens only once, each in their own modified version.

Sometimes in the day to day I forget how precious each moment can be and let it pass with out enjoying it. I hope I look back with more memories of them than not. I enjoy being included when they give me the chance. The moments the older ones share with me are cherished.

I know there are more times than not that they wish they had their mother instead, I hope they know that she is often by their side. She is still alive, only in spirit in stead. This makes her lucky in my book, it is easier for her to be there for everything important. She is a good mother, I see her teachings in her children. I see her love, her stubbornness, her desire to do good and make others feel of worth. All of her goodness is reflected through her children, old and young. I am so blessed to be a part of it. I just cant say it enough.

Modern day Convinience?

It is funny, this afternoon a neighbor was over for only a moment and we were talking. It happens that the subject was about the exact same thing that was talked about in Relief Society this past weekend. The topic was actually broader in Relief Society, but one part stood out for me.

The topic that impressed me was about how impersonal people are becoming. It is easy to IM someone, e-mail, facebook, or even text. While these things are quick and easy it is amazing how impersonal it is. We have people faking identities, and everything out there. It is easier to be a friend from a distance almost.

I find it funny and have to laugh, because while the lesson was being taught, a friend turned to me and said something to the effect "I guess I won't be facebooking you anymore." to which I replied "I was just thinking the same thing, only of myself." The funny thing is I got a message from her a day later asking how things are going... and get this, I replied...lol!

Last week I was talking to a fellow stay-at-home mother and commenting how easy it is to lose track of time when I am away from the children, even for just a moment. I get caught up in relating stories from the week, or just talking about things a two or nearly one year old can't quite grasp.

Any way, my neighbor and I were discussing how important it is the whole personal contact thing. The whole interaction thing, its good. When you are talking face to face you can see their joys, sadness, everything that only body language can tell! besides that, a real hug means so much more sometimes than the *hug* you can get via visual...whatever.

I am ashamed to say that for me, many times I use these modern day conveniences only to simplify. Don't get me wrong, that is what we are instructed to do right? Simplify our lives, that is what we are constantly being told. But sometimes it is easier to send a message than to take the time to call someone up, and chat about the weather, politics or whatever may come to mind. I am only talking for myself, so please don't take this like I am thinking of 'you'.

I do have to say I am not going against this entirely, because, it is so much easier to spend what little precious time I have with my little ones, because I am told time and time again how quickly it will pass. However, I am going to make more of an effort to contact people in person rather than by texting, messaging, etc. I realize this isn't going to be perfect, because of modern day conveniences I live further from my family, and our older children live further from us, but, there are things I can do differently.

I can take a moment to pick up a phone for those distant, and those closer, make an effort to stop by when I am in the area.

There you have it my thoughts as of late, cherio and have a wondermous day!

Time

Isn't it just crazy how time flies? I remember when I was a kid it took what felt like 6 years for Christmas to role around! It was crazy! I was seven-years-old for a life time. Possibly even an additional half.

Here it is already towards the end of April! What is up with that! It seems like only a couple of months ago we moved into our home and here we are nearing our 1 year mark. Hmm.

I remember I used to have a conversation similar to this with the little old men who came and sat in my barbers chair back in the day. that was only 5 years ago...What!? It doesn't even seem that long ago. Any way the conversations would go something like this:

"Can you believe it is already the 4th of July?"

"Yeah, wait until you are my age, then time will really begin to fly."

When they would say that to me I would say something and we would go on about the weather, today's youth, whatever was happening in the news.

I was thinking about this recently though. I look at my children and step-children. They have already grown so much it is almost crazy! My 17 year old went through 5-6 pant sizes in one year and I wondered how we were ever going to keep up with him! I look at our 10 year old, he is becoming quite the not so little man himself these days. Then I look at my two little ones and think my almost three year old will be going to kindergarten in two years, she might even be potty trained by then ( I am crossing my fingers on that one with my whole heart!)

So when I reach the ripe old age of the men who once sat in my chair, will I be able to look back with no regrets? I hope the children entrusted in my stewardship will know they are loved and important. I hope I will have accomplished everything I promised Heavenly Father I would and I hope where I fall short that I will turn to the Savior for His assistance. I hope I don't waste any more time than is necessary on the unnecessary.